Happy Anniversary ...

     I was not able to make it last night to join in on all the anniversary festivities but I was thinking about all of you.

     I originally designed this hand made graphic for J-Lands First Anniversary Celebration. It won a contest for the cover of the Haiku Journal. You can see the original graphic and Ku HERE.

     This past year has been full of so many ups and downs because of the whole banner ads fiasco with AOL. It was devastating at best (at least for me) when so many of our friends and neighbors decided to leave this community but somehow we have managed to survive and even to thrive.

     Even though I am really busy these days and have less time than ever to read and write here, I am still very grateful to be part of this little community we still call J Land.  

     I also want to say how nice it was to have some of our old friends pay us a visit over the past few days like Vivian, Carly,  Steven  and Patrick to name a few. I hope they will always feel welcome here and who knows ... now that AOL will be offering their services for free, maybe we will start seeing some of our favorite writers return. 

                                                      

                                                                    

Kaizen ...

    Japanese for constant improvement. <- click

                  

     A culture that understands the impact that continuously making tiny refinements can have on the quality of business and on the quality of life.

     A concept worth exploring further.

                                             

                                        

Overcoming the fear ...

of making a wrong decision. I'm about 90 days or so into my new job. Making a real decision, a real commitment to change the entire direction of your small but stable and for the most part stress free life, is never easy.

     Today I'm contemplating the amount of pain one has to endure in order to reach the pleasure of the big payoff. I'm sure this next year will be filled with many ups and downs as I'm learning the ropes. I've just got to focus on remaining flexible enough to change my strategies when necessary.                                                                                                           

                      

     I conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pains be the consequence and pains be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures.

                              Michael Montaigne.

 

     Any thoughts about this whole pleasure and pain concept?

                                                

    

Don and Vincent ...

    Nothing new ... this song and painting just happen to be on my mind, thought I'd share.

                                                                                     Webmuseum

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...
                                                        Lyrics: Don McLean

The more things change ...

       The more things stay the same. Because some of you have asked about the purple passion guy ... It's not that it's any big secret or anything, I just make it a practice to write mostly about myself here at Rain and not about my family or friends. (Well, except for maybe Mandy, I think she secretly likes reading about herself here.)

      The purple passion guy is my friend David, he's the closest friend that I have. You know ... like a best girlfriend that you have to discuss every single detail about every single thing in your life with as well as all world issues both current and old.

     We've known each other for nearly 10 years, our friendship is so close and so deep that it's difficult to even imagine how we would get by a single day without it and ... sometimes it's easy to mistake that for love. I don't really think that it is, but sometimes I want it to be so badly that I can think of little else. This is a huge part of my current stuck at status quo issues.  

     It's way past time to make some changes. We will no doubt stay friends until the end of time (we may need each other when we're old) but I know that out there somewhere there has to be more and how am I ever going to find it if I keep letting him take up all the space where someone else should be?

     Below is a reprint from last November, it's one of the few entries I've posted about David over the years and it's also the reason I sometimes refer to him as the Purple Passion guy.

     I don't think he reads Rain very often, and hope that if he were to run across this entry that he would not be to offended. He certainly knows how much time I spend writing here and I guess it's possible he could be one of the secret lurkers that reads and never comments. He doesn't really have to read though, he knows about everything I write here, even before I write it.

    Come to think about it, David is actually the one that told me about AOL J's, 2 1/2 years ago. The first journal I ever read here was Slo Mo I started Rain thevery same day and the rest is history as they say.

    There ... I've said it and if I regret it after I post it, there is always the delete option I suppose. Actually it sort of feels good to write about what's really on my mind, I feel better already. Thanks for asking about this tonight Ash.

      

    

11/29/05

Purple Passion ...

Old friends, paths crossed, tentative thoughts of possibility.

Entwined hands, awkward kiss, passion grows, valentine.

Gratifying small talk, struggling hearts. Daring to live, love, laugh and trust again.

Opening up and then closing the door, the good bad and ugly, being fully understood.

Hope grows, as the unknown becomes familiar and then adored.

Giving and taking, wanting more, succumbing to passion yet two years later still somewhat reserved.

 Sometimes helpless and hopeless, other times in complete control. I love you is spoken, but is it really heard?

Vulnerable hearts wanting nothing more than to love and be loved, but not quite prepared to surrender.

Cosmic courtship of Venus and Mars, discontentedly accepting the silence and preparing to dance solo in the rain.

Purple Passion!

                                                        

Update on ...

        Discontentment and Status Quo!

     Nothing has changed, actually everything is just about the same. Can't shake the feeling that there is something really, really important I'm supposed to be doing, but no matter how hard I search I can't figure out what it is.

     In the mean time ... I'm getting some really great iguana shots. I stop by quite often now that I know where they are and I'm starting to run into other people there that make frequent visits as well. 

                 

        Awww ... just look at those faces. No two are exactly the same.

                

                                                              

                                                         

 

Gone Fishin ...

     One ugly stick, a couple of hooks, a box of night crawlers I bought from a vending machine at Wall Mart and off I went.

                

     Actually I was just planning to stop by to see the iguanas first. I did bring a fresh head of Romaine Lettuce and some Red Grapes in hopes of coaxing them over for a bit of lunch and an upclose photoshoot. But when I got there ...

                

     one of the first things I noticed was that someone had dropped off 30 or 40 loafs of bread as well as several melons and other assorted fruit.

     The next thing I noticed was that who ever the well intended stranger was that was feeding the wildlife, left several loafs of the bread inside the plastic wrapper. This can't be good ... actually it could be down right dangerous if some ravenous critter decided to eat the bread, wrapper and all. 

     I took the loafs out of their wrappers and felt like leaving a note (but didn't) asking that the feeders be more careful next time.

                

     There were actually several people fishing where the iguanas live ... several people fishing means very few iguanas around as you might imagine.

            

     Anyway ... I ventured a little farther than I did last time looking for my green friends and I did find a few. I also saw several curly tailed swifts which have also taken up residence there (swifts are also not natives). And then ...

                 

     I saw something that I have not seen in the wild since I was a little girl, it was a manatee. (yes, Mort ... they really do exist)Normally the winter time is when manatees come inland to warm up. They especially tend to congregate near electrical plants where the waters are at there warmest. Was very surprised to see one in July.

     The two photos below are the best I could do because it stayed just under the surface of the water, moving towards the bank a time or two to take a breath.

     Not sure if these guys are territorial, or if they just keep moving but I do intend to ask around and to check back myself from time to time to see if it frequents this place.

                  

     I did not intend to do any fishing in this location but when I saw the manatee and noticed the other people fishing, I thought I could break in my new rod and reel and wait to see if the manatee came back at the same time.

. 

                  

     It's been years since I've gone fishing, and really had to sike myself up in advance preparing to put the worms on the hook but the one thing I forgot to take into consideration was the chore of taking the fish off the hook once you caught something.

     The steep bank, shallow water and lot's of dead branchy things for the line to get caught up on did not exactly make for the most inviting location but what really caused me to cut the adventure short was all the little brim that would find themselves on the end of my hook the second I threw it into the water.

     Five or six of these guys in a row, needing to be removed from my hook and released back into the water was enough fun for one outing. This is one thing that was much more fun when my x husband was around.

     I'll try it again soon, but next time I plan to fish off the boardwalk at Loxahatchee sitting on a nice clean park bench instead of in the more primitive setting where the iguanas live.

     My one day vacation is over, it's Monday and time to get back to work. Don't forget our journals anniversary coming up soon. Stop by and visit Viviane HERE to find out how to take part.