Saturday, August 5, 2006

The more things change ...

       The more things stay the same. Because some of you have asked about the purple passion guy ... It's not that it's any big secret or anything, I just make it a practice to write mostly about myself here at Rain and not about my family or friends. (Well, except for maybe Mandy, I think she secretly likes reading about herself here.)

      The purple passion guy is my friend David, he's the closest friend that I have. You know ... like a best girlfriend that you have to discuss every single detail about every single thing in your life with as well as all world issues both current and old.

     We've known each other for nearly 10 years, our friendship is so close and so deep that it's difficult to even imagine how we would get by a single day without it and ... sometimes it's easy to mistake that for love. I don't really think that it is, but sometimes I want it to be so badly that I can think of little else. This is a huge part of my current stuck at status quo issues.  

     It's way past time to make some changes. We will no doubt stay friends until the end of time (we may need each other when we're old) but I know that out there somewhere there has to be more and how am I ever going to find it if I keep letting him take up all the space where someone else should be?

     Below is a reprint from last November, it's one of the few entries I've posted about David over the years and it's also the reason I sometimes refer to him as the Purple Passion guy.

     I don't think he reads Rain very often, and hope that if he were to run across this entry that he would not be to offended. He certainly knows how much time I spend writing here and I guess it's possible he could be one of the secret lurkers that reads and never comments. He doesn't really have to read though, he knows about everything I write here, even before I write it.

    Come to think about it, David is actually the one that told me about AOL J's, 2 1/2 years ago. The first journal I ever read here was Slo Mo I started Rain thevery same day and the rest is history as they say.

    There ... I've said it and if I regret it after I post it, there is always the delete option I suppose. Actually it sort of feels good to write about what's really on my mind, I feel better already. Thanks for asking about this tonight Ash.

      

    

11/29/05

Purple Passion ...

Old friends, paths crossed, tentative thoughts of possibility.

Entwined hands, awkward kiss, passion grows, valentine.

Gratifying small talk, struggling hearts. Daring to live, love, laugh and trust again.

Opening up and then closing the door, the good bad and ugly, being fully understood.

Hope grows, as the unknown becomes familiar and then adored.

Giving and taking, wanting more, succumbing to passion yet two years later still somewhat reserved.

 Sometimes helpless and hopeless, other times in complete control. I love you is spoken, but is it really heard?

Vulnerable hearts wanting nothing more than to love and be loved, but not quite prepared to surrender.

Cosmic courtship of Venus and Mars, discontentedly accepting the silence and preparing to dance solo in the rain.

Purple Passion!

                                                        

7 comments:

suzypwr said...

Once you love one, then there is a lot of room in your heart to love more :)
xoxo

jeanno43 said...

Are your sure it is not love?  Love does not always hit you like thunder. I know it did not with Mike and I.  I simply realized after a while that I could never live without him.  Have never regretted it.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

ashleekr said...

Thanks for clarifyin, Coy!  I certainly understand your dilemma, and I know you will figure things out.  Have a great week!.
Ash

donna83453780 said...

    Sometimes everything you're looking for is right in front of your eyes.
Good luck getting every thing figured out, and good luck to the purple
passion guy too.
 

luvmort said...

Aww!

nanmm11 said...

I haven't visited for a while here but now that I have, I wish you happiness and love where ever that may be. When I hear of Jimmy Buffet, I always think of you and your wonderful pictures of the concerts!! They say that there is someone for everyone here and I know you will find that special someone!!!! much love to you!!
                                                                                    Nancy

mkolasa101 said...

Just love your poem about Purple Passion, love the flower too.  Most of all I love how you let it all flow out onto the page.  It's all there, just read it over and over and over, you'll get your answers.

Blessings to you Coy,

Marlene-PurelyPoetry
http://journals.aol.com/mkolasa101/PurelyPoetry